So I will have to lie in it... I take responsibility for my actions eventually. I believe it's important to own up to a mistake to not only fix it but grow from it. These few months I made so many missteps that led to the gravest mistake one can make and that's to leave a marriage with a child and be completely selfish
Anyways I wrote another text to my husband that is now like a short letter
*insert cute video of my husband reading to our 7 month old*
Not sure if I sent you this ... But I miss moments like this and I'm sorry I robbed you of it. Your feelings are valid, your hurt is valid, your lack of trust is valid. It all is. I know you have forgiven me and I appreciate that. I never thought about how selfish I was being as I was causing you to lose out on those precious times you guys share (frankly also some of the most endearing moments for me to watch and gush over which is why I recorded this) I understand the feelings you have right now and that too is valid. Thank you for showing me what it means to still push through difficult times even when it can be so easy to give up. I appreciate all your efforts to keep us intact now even though I didn't then. You are a wonderful man, husband, and father .... Somebody deserves that even if it's not me and I think I will have to live with that. I deserve that to realize how easily one can mess up a good thing and lose it all due to selfishness, anger, and fear. In the end I can only thank you. You gave me five wonderful years and help me to grow up a lot. I love you truly because your selflessness knows no bounds and your love for our son is the evidence. I wish I was more mature to have been like that. Bolaji deserves us both and no parent is more important. Your role and mine are not mutually exclusive but so entwined. My strengths and weakness will become his and lucky for me my weakness are your strengths and vice versa. He will be better because of BOTH of us. I see it now. I saw it then.
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