I did it

Not that it.

I told my lawyer, co-parent counselor, myself the soon to be hopefully not anymore ex-husband how I really felt

It was liberating. It was true. It was real and oh so honest.

I told him I want to reconcile... just dropped the R bomb in our co-parenting session.  Our counselor looked at me like I had 4 heads. Did he see this coming?

So yes world my husband knows that I still care about him; I feel horrible for all the pain I caused him but the worst part will be the rejection to follow.

I don't think he wants to reconcile. I have hurt him too much and I understand now.

But nonetheless, to be able to swallow your pride and ego in love is important and I did it.

Also, I felt even better to know that I had a friend who i could share this with.

My plan is to continue to show him the person he fell in love and married.

Love is hard.

anyways 2 days since I last cried and that's because I could finally be honest with myself, the most important person.